I Hit The Jackpot With The Tradwife Lifestyle Until it All Came Crashing Down

Search for the term “tradwife” on TikTok and you’ll find thousands of carefully curated videos from creators like 26 year olds Estee Williams of Richmond, Virginia, and Hannah Neeleman, also known as Ballerina Farm, who has amassed 7 million followers sharing cooking and homemaking videos from her farm in Utah. The videos feature a soft-lipped aesthetic: modern women wearing 1950s housewife aprons, baking bread and arranging flowers in full makeup and perfectly coiffed hair.

Content He is Attractive. On TikTok, Williams has received 1.3 million likes across her videos Promote the benefits of relying on a partner to care for you. In this regard, I was also a trader Throughout my 12 year marriage.

Business life is a slippery slope

Throughout my first marriage—in our early 20s—my husband and I were juggling three young children and living the best lives we could. We eventually divorced, I became a single mother, and more confusion ensued. I was always one step behind, stressed out, stressed out, and unemployed.

When I became pregnant with my youngest—with older children in public schools—my “advanced maternal age” and medical history made the pregnancy high-risk. We agreed that I would quit my job. So I did, and immediately began nesting.

I was starting to create the white picket fence life I thought I wanted. We even started homeschooling. If I’m going to be home all day anyway, why not? I’ve become a pro at pinning craft ideas to Pinterest, meal planning, and decorating my home.

In 2019, I started working from home here and there, doing ghostwriting and freelancing, but none of that money really contributed to the family. I leave my husband to take care of everything related to running the house. He’s a CPA and financial advisor by trade, so why would I “worry my little head” about any of that? If you had asked, he probably would have shared the details. However, neither of us thought much about it, and for a while it worked.

Intensive course for adults

After our divorce hearing, I walked out of local court as a homeowner, having acquired the family home, but not being aware of the consequences.

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The author is on a trip to the Grand Canyon.

Suddenly you were solely responsible for home maintenance, utilities, property taxes, and homeowners insurance. I’ve had a crash course in adulting. I also received an HOA violation letter because my house needs good pressure washing. Of course I did; My husband hasn’t lived there for almost a year. A piece of lichen has taken up a permanent place in my mailbox.

HOA and amenities fees were due immediately. Sprinklers require programming; With that, of course, is an increase in your water bill. I will need to schedule and pay a turf man (this mulch will not spread itself). I also quickly realized that I better start budgeting some money for the property tax due after the holidays.

My ex-husband and I had just fallen into traditional gender roles; It was easier than getting started. When he left home, he struggled to start the air fryer, order delivery on his phone, and navigate the grocery store. I haven’t necessarily been burying my head in the sand over the years, but I’ve certainly not been as proactive as I could have been.

The importance of taking an active role in financial affairs

Shari Rush is the founder and financial advisor at GWA fortune. “I talk to women all the time, when I’m out socially or in moms’ groups, and as soon as they hear what I do for a living, I get the response, ‘Oh, my husband handles all of that,'” she told HuffPost.

It’s often a significant event that prompts a person to act or become actively involved in managing their finances, Rush said. Typically, this event tends to be something negative – perhaps the loss of a parent, unemployment, divorce, death of a spouse, or even witnessing one of these events happen to someone close.

according to Report from Bank of America94% of women believe they will be personally responsible for their finances at some point during their lives, yet they are less involved in long-term financial decisions than their partners. Nearly half of the 3,500 women surveyed say they feel confident about their finances, but only 28% feel able to take action on them.

Rash encourages women to take an active role in the family finances, whether they work outside the home or not. “This doesn’t mean you follow the stock market every day and trade your accounts every day. It means you know what your family has and you’re included in the conversation,” she said.

The money mindset starts in childhood

A parent’s hands-off approach to family finances has greater influence within the family unit.

“Children are like little sponges, absorbing every detail of our behavior, especially when it comes to relationships and finances,” CPA Maya Corbeck He said. “They shape their financial mindset by observing how we interact with money and with each other. Everything they see, hear and feel becomes their perception of what is ‘normal.’

Kurbick’s goal is to teach every child how to become a financially independent adult. “Many of the mothers who attend my parents’ workshops share stories about how their upbringing influenced their views on finances,” she said. “For example, some grew up in families where only fathers made financial decisions, leading to the belief that only men handle investments. This perpetuates the idea that women should not be involved in financial matters and should depend on men for financial security.”

Kurbick advises parents to be aware of the messages they are sending to their children and that they “consciously model healthy financial behaviors and empower them to develop a balanced, informed relationship with money.”

One way to do this is to set aside time each month to review the family budget, discuss spending habits, and prioritize savings.

“Regular ‘money dates’ are a cornerstone of financial harmony,” Korbeck told HuffPost, adding that they promote transparency within the family and emphasize the importance of intentional discussions about family finances.

Baby steps for home financial awareness

Rush urges those who are financially dependent on their partner to immediately dig in and do the work. But this doesn’t just apply to those who fall into traditional gender roles in their relationships; All adults who share their lives with a partner can benefit from becoming more financially aware. Important topics to discuss with your partner include:

  • Your individual or joint debts
  • Money available in savings or investments
  • Balance mortgage and home equity
  • Total monthly household expenses
  • Availability of emergency funds

For couples who use the services of a financial advisor, Rush suggests Start by asking yourself the following questions:

  • If you became the sole financial decision maker for your household overnight, would you know who your financial point of contact is?
  • If you have a contact, do you feel comfortable talking to them?
  • Do you know what accounts your spouse or partner has?
  • What company issues your life insurance policies?

“If you’re not able to answer these questions, it probably means you need to take some steps to get involved for your own protection,” Rush said.

And while I still have a long way to go, with each new experience, I gain the financial confidence and self-esteem that I was missing while living the trading lifestyle. I have an upcoming appointment with a CPA, opened an investment account, started taking care of my retirement accounts, and most importantly, gained skills, knowledge, and wisdom that I can share with my children so they can protect their finances. Futures.

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