Tom Brady roast: Top highlights from the raunchy Netflix special

Tom Brady in

NFL fans are used to seeing it Tom Brady Participate in a big event on Sunday night. But after retiring two years ago, the seven-time Super Bowl champion no longer plays in prime time.

Previously, Brady was targeted by opposing defenders on Sunday night. But for the Netflix live event, “The Roast of Tom Brady, AKA The Greatest Roast of All Time,” the quarterback came under attack from a variety of former teammates and comedians including Rob GronkowskiHost Kevin Hart, Julian EdelmanBert Kreischer, Tom Segura, Randy Moss and Jeff Ross.

The program began with a gag more likely familiar to football fans than pop culture followers. Bill Belichick is shown on camera telling someone: “The fans want you. Everyone wants you. But it’s not your night. Sorry, Drew.”

Then we see him talking to Drew Bledsoe, the ex New England Patriots Quarterback and Brady’s predecessor at the position before the injury. And the man of the night enters the frame.

“Brady,” Belichick said. “I’m in. Let’s go.”

“Are you kidding me?” Bledsoe groaned. “once again?”

This basically sets the tone for the night. Easy jokes and lots of f-bombs.

As you’d expect at a celebrity bash, Brady’s divorce from Gisele Bündchen was a recurring topic. Also as expected, many of them are not suitable for documentation here.

One of the best was during Hart’s opening. “When you get a chance,” Hart said, mocking Brady for apparently choosing his football career over his marriage To go 8-9 And all it will cost you is your wife and children, you have to do it.”

There can’t be a celebrity roast without Jeff Ross. The “Roastmaster General” has been insulting celebrities on TV for 20 years. Walking out on stage wearing a T-shirt with “Roast J Simpson” written on the back, Ross finally poked fun at a key part of the Tom Brady mythos.

“Tom was ultimately 199th overall in the NFL draft,” Ross said. “He sat there for days, waiting and waiting, and then you finally got picked in the sixth round when Bill Belichick’s dog stepped on your keyboard by accident.”

However, Ross may have crossed the line with Brady when he referenced the Patriots owner Robert Kraft and the massage parlor scandal He participated in it in 2019.

“Don’t do that again,” Brady said in Russ’ ear after that joke.

Bledsoe earning a place in football history by losing his starting quarterback job has been the subject of many jokes. But after joking that he hated Brady for taking his job, Bledsoe fired back at Belichick, a now-unemployed NFL coach.

“Who’s more hated than the most successful quarterback of all time? I mean, except maybe Belichick,” Bledsoe said. “There were rumors that Coach Belichick was going to be here tonight. Turns out he has some time on his hands. Look, at least when I got fired, someone else wanted me.”

Brady’s divorce and low NFL draft status have been constant topics of ridicule. Bledsoe dropped both with one throw.

“Look, buddy, you have more rings than me,” Bledsoe said. “But I experienced two things you will never experience: the feeling of being No. 1 overall draft pick In the NFL and the 28th wedding anniversary. “It was yesterday.”

Rob Gronkowski was the second most popular target of jokes after Brady on Sunday night. Most of the wisdom focused on Gronk’s intelligence. The best one came from comedian Nikki Glaser, who had perhaps the best material on the show.

“Tom lost $30 million in cryptocurrency. ‘Tom, how did you fall for that?'” Glaser said. Even Gronk was saying: “I know this isn’t real money.”

Gronk got his turn on the stage and took his share of shots at Brady, Hart, Belichick and Edelman. He finished his set by sharing shots with Brady and Belichick followed of course by a spike on the absolute glass.

This was preceded by another surprising moment that included a round of shots. Patriots owner Robert Kraft took to the stage alongside Belichick and praised him as “the greatest coach in the history of the game” and then shared a shot with his former coach.

When it was about to end more than three hours later, Brady was introduced by a surprise guest — his biggest rival in the NFL, Peyton Manning.

“It’s great to see the greatest coach in NFL history, Bill Belichick, here. For those who don’t know, the coach will be doing some work on Eli and this two ‘Monday Night Football’ shows,” Manning said. year.

“I’ve got to tell you, it’s going to be great. Eli and I are very excited, and it’s going to give Coach Belichick something he hasn’t had in a while: the opportunity to be around quarterbacks he respects.”

Then Brady finally had his turn. He immediately set his sights on Manning.

“I know you live sometimes Denver“And sometimes you live in Louisiana,” Brady said. But you will always live in my shadow.”

It’s not over.

“When I heard there was a slow white Bronco heading down the 405 to come here tonight, I thought we might actually see a true football legend,” Brady continued.

He moved on to almost everyone on stage, including Gronkowski and Moss. He saved one of the most interesting jokes of the night for Bledsoe.

“Like the rest of America, I will always remember where I was on that fateful day in September 2001, when, tragically, these two… Planes “I bumped into Drew Bledsoe,” Brady said.

He had a message for New York Giants fans and Eli ManningTo whom he lost in the Super Bowl twice.

“Fuck Ellie and fuck you too. Twice.”

He also gave a sly nod to Roger Goodell and deflated.

“The NFL spent $20 million and found it more likely than not that I was ‘generally’ aware that someone had deflated my footballs. You could have just given me the $20 million and I would have told you I did it.” .

He concluded his speech by making jokes at Belichick’s expense.

“You are a true coaching genius,” Brady said. “You had to choose between an aging, injured, overpaid Drew Bledsoe and a young, healthy star making minimum wage. I could have gotten a coach from Foxboro High School to make that decision. …

“I’ve been out of the game for a minute, so I’m curious. How many Super Bowl rings have you won since you left? Maybe it’s not just the guy on the sidelines. When I go to the Indy 500, I don’t ask the winning driver ‘Hey, who He refueled your car?

He then left the stage flipping double birds to the audience while asking his critics to lose his number.

Brady compiled a 251-82 regular season record and a 35-13 postseason mark during his 23-year NFL career. Whether it has another win or another loss depends on how funny viewers think those jokes are. Whether these viewers won or lost by watching “The Greatest Roast of All Time” is another question worth asking.

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